i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
