I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
