Fuck appropriateness.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
i've created a new STD.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
