when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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