If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
