absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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