he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm like, not good at living.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
