So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
the day after is always just damage control
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
