he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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