i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
