i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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