Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
