i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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