Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
