the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
