Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
