He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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