You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
