I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
