is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
