I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you would pick up someone in the library
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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