Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
