so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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