they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
