I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
