Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
