I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
