i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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