if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
