we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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