I'm passing your future prison.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
