You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
