Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
