3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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