we have pet lesbian snakes
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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