I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
