Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Did I show you my penis last night?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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