Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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