Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
