And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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