Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
