remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
