I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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