you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
