Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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