Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My vagina just clenched in fear
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
