sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
