I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
