What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
