Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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