Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
