Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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