so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
